![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lornemitchell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/frogs.jpg?resize=304%2C400\" "\\"frogs\\"")
<\/span><\/a><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it!”<\/span><\/p>\n“Do not argue with an idiot. <\/span><\/p>\nHe will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience!”<\/span><\/p>\n“The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list!”<\/span><\/p>\n“Light travels faster than sound. <\/span><\/p>\nThis is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!”<\/span><\/p>\n“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong!”<\/span><\/p>\n“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public!”<\/span><\/p>\n“War does not determine who is right – only who is left!”<\/span><\/p>\n“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. <\/span><\/p>\nWisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!”<\/span><\/p>\n“Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t!”<\/span><\/p>\n“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. <\/span><\/p>\nTo steal from many is research!”<\/span><\/p>\n“A bus station is where a bus stops. <\/span><\/p>\nA train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station!”<\/span><\/p>\n“Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR!”<\/span><\/p>\n“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you!”<\/span><\/p>\n“A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory!”<\/span><\/p>\n“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. <\/span><\/p>\nSo I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness!”<\/span><\/p>\n“You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice!”<\/span><\/p>\n“You’re never too old to learn something stupid!”<\/span><\/p>\n“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target!”<\/span><\/p>\n” Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car!”<\/span><\/p>\n“A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip!”<\/span><\/p>\n“Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were!”<\/span><\/p>\nAnd the final words of wisdom:<\/p>\n
“The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese”.<\/span><\/p>\n“While the eagle may soar, the weasel doesn’t get sucked up by a jet engine”.<\/span><\/p>\nHope you enjoyed \u2013 please pass on as you smile!<\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A friend, Peter, kindly sent me this earlier today. Please laugh \u2013 then pass the link on to friends: There is a figure of speech called a Paraprosdokian . in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected. It is frequently used in a humorous context and here are a … <\/p>\n
Continue reading “Paraprosdokians, the Second Mouse and the Last Laugh”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[62,58],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DQGK-gI","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":382,"url":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/?p=382","url_meta":{"origin":1036,"position":0},"title":"You Just Have to Laugh!","author":"Lorne Mitchell","date":"21\/01\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A good friend of mine, Tom Gilb, just pointed out this brilliant bit of British Comedy which was screened just before Christmas: We are an industry of fruit and nut cases! Thanks, Tom, for the link.","rel":"","context":"In "Broadband"","block_context":{"text":"Broadband","link":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":995,"url":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/?p=995","url_meta":{"origin":1036,"position":1},"title":"Shaving, Saving ….. and Laughing","author":"Lorne Mitchell","date":"31\/05\/2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Once in a while you see a viral video that makes you laugh so much you want to cry! It is also BRILLIANT marketing! My thought for this Thursday is: Could you create a short video with with such simplicity and humour? Doubt it!\u00a0 Go on, surprise me!","rel":"","context":"In "Attention"","block_context":{"text":"Attention","link":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/?cat=78"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1793,"url":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/?p=1793","url_meta":{"origin":1036,"position":2},"title":"If there is one thing you’re going do as we go into 2018, make it this!","author":"Lorne Mitchell","date":"31\/12\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Someone asked me what one word or phrase I would use to take me into 2018, leave behind those ideas, things and people you don't need anymore and create something new and vibrant. I thought for a moment and then said \"I use the term \"Lighten Up! quite a lot.\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Ideas"","block_context":{"text":"Big Ideas","link":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/?cat=42"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lornemitchell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Screen-Shot-2017-12-31-at-10.24.22-1.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1195,"url":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/?p=1195","url_meta":{"origin":1036,"position":3},"title":"The Story of the Broken Pot (of Honey)","author":"Lorne Mitchell","date":"14\/02\/2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The older I get, the more I believe in coincidences. \u00a0And one of the strange coincidences that I have recently discovered is that there are a set of stories that are told in slightly different forms all around the world - as if they all had their roots in one\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Attention"","block_context":{"text":"Attention","link":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/?cat=78"},"img":{"alt_text":"iStock_000009374542XSmall","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lornemitchell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/iStock_000009374542XSmall-300x199.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1036"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1036"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1036\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1142,"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1036\/revisions\/1142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.lornemitchell.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/lornemitchell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/frogs.jpg\" "\\"frogs\\"")
<\/span><\/a><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n